Saturday, 18 March 2017

Tin Man Games: Slaves of Rema

Hi! Long time no... see? Blog? Write?

How are you? I'm living in a hotel because my real house got flooded, and since a) I don't have my music gear here and b) it's strangely depressing having people randomly show up at your 'home' and  to make your bed while you sit there playing XCOM 2 and try your best to pretend not to be a slob, I've decided - at least for tonight - to seek refuge in a fantasy world where I'll probably die an awful, humiliating and painful death. For fun.

Slaves of Rema! It's one of the Tin Man range of gamebooks. Going by the splash screen (cover?), it's some kind of Gladiator-themed romp through Classical Rome, but with lizards big enough for Obi-Wan to ride.

"Millions of voices suddenly cried out, 'Weeeee!'"
So, I'm a dude still living at home with his elderly parents and three sisters (so, a Millennial). I'm apparently pro-slavery (okay, definitely a Trump voter), so it shouldn't come as any surprise when one day my platoon is ambushed by some slavers and made to walk a mile in slave shoes. Sad!

I'm quickly enlisted to fight in the gladiatorial arena, assigned to the Red team. Our opponents are the Blues, which I guess makes this some kind of analogy for the Bloods and Crips? I might be reading too much into this. Are Bloods and Crips still a thing? Or is it Democrips and Rebloodicans?

Gang handshakes are getting a bit odd

After easily bringing my first opponent (the 'desert-man', 'cause desert men need only hyphens, not names) to the brink of death, I do as the Emperor - sorry, the Princeps - asks, and decapitate him.

This apparently makes me sick, 'cause while I'm all for lifetimes spent in bondage and torture, a quick and painless end to the misery of eternal servitude is apparently a step too far (Rebloodicans clearly the right choice).

This act however is sufficiently despicable enough to attract the attention of a gang of other slaves - not sure if East or West Coast - who want out. I'm offered my choice of role in the elaborate escape plot. I choose to be on weapons duty, so if it all goes horribly wrong at least I'll have some way to put a cap in the ass of anyone in my way.

Not all of it goes to plan - for the others. I, on the other hand, somehow end up with a sapphire which I use to blag my way into first class on a boat home. Gangsta.

Then pirates attack, and I'm dead. Which sucks, 'cause before getting on that boat I totally bought a Monkey Skull, assuming an item so specifically useless would save me when I most needed it.

Kali maaaaaaaa!
At least, it would if this was a collect-all-the-weird-shit Ian Livingstone book. But it's not.


Anyway... I've got this app with all the Lone Wolf books on it. I never read those as a kid. Worth doing? Or is it time to run through Sorcery, the apps?

PS. Between the last entry and now, I played the Tin Man version of The Warlock of Firetop Mountain a thousand times, so that's probably off the table...


Stuart Lloyd said...

Great to see you back! The Lone Wolf books are great. They are different to FF as they have a definite story and fewer sudden deaths.

I'd love you to do Asuria Awakens (my book, shameless, I know!). I know you will last longer in that book.

DracoChapel said...

Definitely do the lone wolf books. They are available up to date from Project Aon - a site that had the full backing of the creator ( who sadly passed away recently). They have all the lone wolf books and the spinoffs/other worlds like freeway warrior and the new order.

You can download the books or play in the browser or download the files and play. It's easy to keep track of your character and progress from book to book ( one of the joys of it is the continuing story and developing character through the books)

Andrew said...

The Lone Wolf books are well within your wheelhouse and pretty fair in terms of difficulty. They also build on each other nicely.

The Sorcery books are also great but tough and *weird*. The iOS apps work very well but sort of elevate the experience above a typical game book by offering additional features. I like them a lot but they are perhaps too different from the originals to fit in with the rest of the blog.

Hạnh Nguyễn said...

Cảm ơn chia sẻ của bạn. Nhưng mình đọc không hiểu gì cả, mình không biết tiếng Anh, cũng như bạn không biết tiếng Việt (có lẽ). Ahihi, mình xin chia sẻ một chút về treo chân mày nội soi không biết bạn có quan tâm không.

Anonymous said...

The Lone Wolf books are good for a playthrough (disclaimer - I'm doing my own at

I'd maybe suggest the Grail Quest ones by JH Brennan, although you'd need the paperpacks - they're not online

Panharith said...

Great to see you back!

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