Tin Man Games: An Assassin in Orlandes

Fighting Dantasy is making a flying jump into the 2010s - hopefully successfully testing my skill in the process - and taking on one of the Tin Man Gamebook Adventures series.

But it's not a book - it's on a tablet! Aaeerreeerrgghhh!

Taking advantage of the vast amount of supercomputing power Samsung's able to fit in 7 inches of plastic, rare earth metals and patents ripped from Apple, the GA series takes ye olde FF template and multiplies it - but it's not quite Moore's Law in action. Instead of 12+2D6 for stamina, you get 24+4D6. And it's called vitality, but you and I both know what it really is.

The ever-diminishing luck mechanic is replaced by fitness, and fighting is split into offence - based on dice rolls - and defence, based on what you're wearing.

The rules also suggest it's possible to have companions who fight with you - rolling all those dice would have been a nightmare in 1988; I can only hope the Galaxy Note enjoys being shaken.

On starting An Assassin in Orlandes, I'm prompted to play Classic style, or Casual - if you've read any previous Fighting Dantasy blog entries, I don't need to tell you which I chose. It's basically the difference between using a three-finger bookmark - which is still cheating, really - and ignoring all the rules whatsoever. But in the words of Ian Livingstone: "Let's face it, most of us cheated when we read Fighting Fantasy books."

Yep. The guy who wrote the book(s) told me even he cheats.

Anyway, taking advantage of the tablet form, I get to name my character! Um... Let's go with 'Kane'. (I'm watching the fifth ODI between England and New Zealand in a couple of hours, so let's assume the experience Kane has Orlandes tonight is an omen of how his namesake bats this evening...)

After rolling some stats more akin to Chris Martin's batting than Kane Williamson's, I'm off!

The first page reads, "Today has probably been the worst day of your life..." Five minutes into the book, I'm face-to-face with a cannibal. In a sewer.

He tells me I'm his next meal, and I am. The text goes into excruciating detail - Hannibal smashes my ribcage and eats my intestines. That would never have gone to print in 1988. The Tin Man GA series is obviously aimed at the same readers as FF - only aged as they are now.

The good news is I got an achievement! 'Off the Beaten Path: Find Medius the Cannibal'. That's not an achievement...